Title: And Baby Makes Three (1/1)
Word Count: 1,160
Disclaimer: This is not based on the real men of Easy Company. It is based on the performances by the actors in HBO’s “Band of Brothers” no disrespect intended. Do not sue.
Author’s Note: AU this fic was inspired by the drawings of the very talented hjbender as a way to explain the miraculous spawn of Winters and Nixon. Complete and utter crack, enjoy. Also I’m unsure of what time frame I placed them in, think 1990’s suburbia.
Lewis Nixon ran a nervous hand through his hair as he stared dumbfounded at the pregnancy test results. Looking up at Dick at the kitchen table he did his best impression of a fish out of water as his brain had temporarily short circuited. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat he looked down at the paper and back at Dick, his eyes unreadable.
“Are you sure this is correct and not some sick joke?” Nix said finally finding his vocal chords
“I had Doc Roe run the test 10 times and each time the results the same.” Dick replied looking down at his folded hands on the table.
“This is…this is impossible.” Nix said shaking the paper.
“I know Nix.”
“You don’t understand Dick, this is a physical impossibility. We cannot conceive a child together we’re both men. So how in the hell did you end up pregnant?”
“It happens?! This is more like freaking immaculate conception Dick!”
“Apparently Doc Roe said that men are able to conceive, it’s rare, but it does happen.”
Lewis put the test results down on the table and started to pace frantically. Dick just sat there quietly as Nixon processed the information, every few steps Nixon would stop and look in his direction and Dick noticed that panicked look on his face.
“What’s scaring you Nix the fact we’ll be parents or something else?”
Nixon stopped cold in his tracks with his back to Dick facing the backdoor and in a quiet voice said “I’m afraid you’ll leave me like Kathy did and I’ll never get to see our child grow up.”
Getting up from his chair Dick walked up to Nixon and turning him gently took one of his hands and placed it on his abdomen.
“Nix, you’re my best friend; I’ve seen you at your worse. There’s nothing on this earth that will make me leave you. I love you and I love this child because it’s part of you. So stop over thinking this and just relax.” Dick said cupping Lewis’ face and kissing him. Nixon wrapped his arms around Dick and pulling him in only to stop afraid he’d squeeze too hard and harm the baby.
Dick chuckled and kissing Nix’s forehead whispered “It’s okay; Doc Roe says it’s safe to hug me. I won’t break and neither will the child.”
“Jesus Dick, I don’t know what to do. We’re going to be parents. Are you sure you can handle this? Hell, are you sure I can handle this?”
Laughing Dick leaned his head against the top of Nixon’s and held him as he replied “we’ll figure this out together.”
Four Months Later:
Doc Roe sat in the Winters/Nixon living room looking between the two men and asked, “So is everything going okay?”
Lewis squeezed Dick’s hand before replying “Besides the cravings for Pastrami sandwiches dipped in vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. Everything’s peachy.”
“What about you Dick, how have you been feelin’?” Roe asked picking up his glass of lemonade and taking a sip.
“I’m doing fine. My ankles have been bothering me this past month.”
“Swollen ankles are to be expected when carrying extra weight.”
“Which reminds me, excuse me.” Nixon said standing up and heading off to the kitchen.
The sounds of the microwave and Nixon rummaging around in cabinets could be heard. After the microwave dinged, Nixon came out with two blue pads and pulling over the ottoman instructed Dick to put his feet up. Slipping off one of Dick’s slippers, Nixon sat on a folding chair and started to massage his ankle while the other was under the heating pad. Dick leaned back into the couch a look of content etched across his features.
Roe chuckled before stating, “I take it that feels good?”
“It's divine.” Dick said sighing contently.
“I’ll just say, don’t expect Dick to be running Currahee or any other hill anytime soon.” Nix said pausing in his massage. Dick pouted and catching Nix’s eye chuckled as Nix went back to massaging Winters ankle with fervor.
“So Doc, you said you had some news?” Dick asked looking over at his friend who sat there smiling at the doting behavior of Lewis Nixon.
“I wanted to let you know that your “condition” has also affected a few of the other men.”
Nixon stopped his massage and both looked at Doc Roe with big eyes.
Dick was the first to recover and sat forward, “Really? Who was affected?”
Roe looked at his notes and chuckled before looking up, “well apparently Joe Liebgott and David Webster are expecting a baby girl, and Carwood Lipton is expecting a baby boy with Ronald Speirs.”
The two men on the other side of the room shared a look as Nixon mouthed “Liebgott?
Roe read Nixon’s lips and smirked, “Yes, apparently Liebgott has become quite the expecting Momzilla as my nurse would say. She had to put a quote “verbal smack down” unquote on Liebgott’s behavior. Webster almost burst into tears in my office during their monthly check up. Apparently his hormone levels are off the charts, once I got him on some testosterone his mood swings evened out.”
“Good to hear you evened Liebgott’s hormones out, he’s hardly stable on a good day.” Nix remarked getting a smack on the arm from Dick.
Lewis looked at Dick quizzically, “What? It’s true.”
Roe couldn’t help but laugh at the statement, and giving a wave of his hand said “Don’t fret about it Major, I agree with Nixon on this one.”
Dick quirked an eyebrow at Nixon silently telling him they would “discuss this later.”
Nixon just leaned over and kissed Dick’s temple trying to soothe any ruffled feathers of his favorite mother hen.
Roe stood and walking over shook hands with both men, “Well gentlemen, I must head out and do my supervision of my nurse. You two take care.”
Dick stood up with some help by Nixon and walked Roe to the door.
“Thank you for stopping by Roe. You’re always welcome here.”
The two stood in the doorway and watched Doc Roe stroll down the sidewalk and into the distance.
Nixon turned to Dick and placing a hand on his abdomen whispered huskily “let’s go upstairs, it’s time for your full body massage.”
Dick closed their front door and smiling coyly grabbed Nixon’s hand led him upstairs.