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My Moxie is Back!

So I've come to terms with JC's decision to be "friends". I'm still not okay with it emotionally but I'll live with it. I'm throwing myself into things that I was obsessed with before JC. "Band of Brothers" is one, my obsession with the film industry and the film genre is another, as well as my writing.

I HAVE MY MOXIE BACK!

Last night I went to dinner by myself, and you know what? I was okay with it. I was. Life goes on, and sadly the one emotion I felt when JC told me he wanted to go back to being friends was 'relief'! Now I can be free. I can travel to Georgia and see Toccoa or go to London and Dublin. I love having companionship but I'm TOO old for mind games, etc.

So here I am working hard on my screenplay as well as my Fic for Victory.

I'm also getting a new mattress delievered tomorrow. YAY me! No more lumpy dumpy mattress. Why is it that we do that to ourselves? We'd rather have shitty sleep than buy a new mattress.

So I'm sitting here happily buzzed on alcohol, listening to Mumford and Sons and I'm eager to LIVE AGAIN!

Annje has her moxie back and isn't going to take any prisoners. She's going to kick ass, and take names.

As Charlie Sheen put it.....

ANNJE IS WINNING!!!!   DUH!

:)

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
hjbender
Apr. 10th, 2011 05:35 am (UTC)
Sometimes I get the feeling you and me were cast from the same mold, Annje. I am in that same recovery stage right now, getting my life back again after ending a serious three-year relationship with my partner, who definitely had issues with commitment, growing up, and basically developing a more meaningful relationship beyond just sex and mindless personal entertainment. We ended it almost a year ago, and honestly, I'm grateful to be single again. I realize now that this person is not what I'm looking for in a partner, and I shudder to think what might have happened if we had continued to stay together. I feel like I just barely escaped something awful, and now I'm ready to live again. Or rather write again, because I feel like I wasted an incredible amount of time and energy--three years' worth, to be exact--being somebody else's "good time" while I put aside all of my hobbies and passions. I will never let this happen again. I will either find somebody who shares these hobbies and passions with me, or I will be alone. That's just how it is.

My ex, like yours, also wanted to play the "just friends" game for a while, and I went along with it. For nearly a year. We failed each time. But that last time, this past March, I had it. Last fucking straw. There was just no way for us to remain "friends", so I basically told my ex sayonara, and by the way, don't ever contact me again. And that was that.

Sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world to shut that door and walk away forever, but if you've got the courage to do it, it can also open up more doors than you can imagine.

The thing about us, Annje, is that you and I don't need someone else to "complete" us or be our "other half"; we're whole people who can take care of ourselves and be perfectly fine on our own, evidence by our dating record. (I've had one relationship. Exactly one. And it was entirely too much fucking drama, to be perfectly frank. You read my post, so you know my thoughts on the whole matter. Good riddance and full speed ahead!)

That said, I'm really glad things are looking up for you. :) Knowing that we've both been dragged through the same shit, seeing you happy makes me happy. And hey, when you plan that trip to Toccoa, let me know. I'd be glad to show you around the old camp. :D
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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